One of the first things I told my husband is that I would never marry him.
Yep, that’s right. Great first date material. I felt that wonderful, butterflied anticipation in my belly and then…boom! Awkward bomb dropped. He smiled at me, looked me squarely but kindly in the eye and said, “OK.” And then continued with our conversation without skipping a beat.
I tried to put a cap on our relationship before it even began. Not because I didn’t have feelings for him. I did. Like, big time. And it wasn’t because he was a bad guy. In fact, quite the opposite. He’s open-hearted, loyal, observant, and tender. I knew right away he was exceptional.
The thing is, I was terrified. I felt really comfy in my world view and in the direction I thought my life was headed. Opening up my world to him felt like a drastic departure from what felt familiar. We had different backgrounds, different beliefs, and came from different cultures.
Meeting my husband initiated a major personal and spiritual growth phase in my life. Which was exactly what I needed.
Because as humans, we’re wired for growth. We’re wired for change. Change toward something bigger and more expansive- especially when it comes to our mindset, the way we’re experiencing our lives, and our capacity for connection.
the old life. is an old life. one you have
already lived. one you do not have to
keep living. you are too wondrous. for
one life.
-Nayyirah Waheed
Outgrowing the Old
Like a snake regularly sheds its skin, we humans crave and deeply need opportunities to outgrow things that no longer serve us. Like old mindsets, limiting beliefs, unhelpful habits, stagnant relationships, disconnection from our bodies, meaningless work, or busyness crowding out the magic in our lives.
It’s not that the old skin is bad. It served a purpose, and often met our needs quite well for a period of time. It helped us arrive to where we’re at today. But then, eventually, we outgrow it.
Cultivating a willingness to change is one of the arts of living well. To leave behind what sometimes feels familiar for something wondrous: the potential for richness, fulfillment, and wellbeing beyond what we ever thought possible.
We’re always changing–whether we mean to or not. Our bodies continually change. Our hopes and aspirations change. Our needs aren’t the same this year as last year. What helps us feel connected and supported in our relationships fluctuates. What we need to feel whole and fulfilled shifts as we live more life. And thankfully, the way we view ourselves can always grow and evolve too.
Embracing Wonder
So how do we embrace change with all its discomfort? How do we midwife ourselves through these big and small transformations?
It begins with pausing to get an overhead look at your life. Carving out a bit of space to take stock of your wellbeing in the important areas of your life. And honoring your natural need to keep shedding old skins in order to grow into the wondrous life you’re born to live.
When you take this closer look, it’s not so much about focusing on what you need to fix about yourself. It’s more about getting curious about what you want to be moving toward. Curious about who you’re becoming. And then, choosing wonder as your mindset – rather than focusing on fear, judgement, or scarcity. This’ll set you up to better identify the changes you need to make to move closer to what’s most important to you. Closer to your true nature.
That night over 15 years ago is one of a few major turning points in my life. I’m so grateful to my younger self for being willing to embrace the discomfort of change. Meeting my husband helped me move closer to the woman I am today. A woman I deeply wanted to be at the time, but wasn’t yet. Someone who now loves vulnerably, without judgement, and with generosity.
Clarity Before Action
The beautiful part of welcoming in the New Year comes from embracing hope and allowing yourself to begin for the first time, or to begin again. Allowing yourself endless do-overs and re-starts. It takes courage to believe that the changes you hope for are possible. That wellness is within your reach, and that you have the power to influence your life for the better.
Before you dive into taking action in this fresh New Year, you need a clear picture of what’s currently happening with the most vital contributors to your health and wellbeing. You need a sense of the big picture–what’s already going well, what needs more support, and if there are any parts of your life you’ve had on the back burner for too long.
Our FREE Ultimate 2020 Reflection Guide will give you an opportunity to kindly evaluate the current state of affairs in your life. It’ll give you important information on where to invest your time, energy, resources, and attention. So you can make powerful plans for your wellbeing this year.
Wishing you wellness in the New Year. And wondrous living.
With love,
Cara
Team Luminary
P.S. As you know, being open to change is only the beginning. You’ll also need a few important skills to have lasting success with making change. If you’re ready to truly get off the sidelines of your life and finally make those changes happen, join us for Cultivate Change. In 8 weeks, our step-by-step framework will show you how to cultivate long-lasting shifts that turn your most heartfelt hopes into reality, and YOU into a powerful change-maker.
