We are matter, kindred with ocean and tree and sky. We are flesh and blood and bone. To sink into that is a relief, a homecoming.” – Krista Tippet
Your body is your access point to your life and the world.
And how you inhabit that body is everything.
Get curious with me for a moment. Ask yourself: how present do I feel in my body right now on a scale of 1-10? How fully am I inhabiting my body?
There’s no better or worse answer, no right or wrong. The goal of asking this question is simply to get curious. To check in. To inquire.
The idea of being present in our bodies might sound a little “touchy feely”, but as the body of research grows around the inextricable connections between our bodies and minds, we are starting to understand the neurobiological foundation for something that used to be seen as more of a spiritual concept.
If you aren’t feeling very connected to or “in” your body right now, we get it, and you’re so not alone. It’s challenging to stay present and embodied as we walk through life. There are thousands of daily reasons to turn down the volume, to disconnect, and to numb out.
Because it’s so very vulnerable being in the world when we’re feeling life fully.
That’s why every living, breathing human with a tender heart has to practice staying with their body and with the present moment through the highs and lows of this human experience.
Personally, I’ve spent the better half of the last 15 years finding my way back into my body, again and again, opening a little deeper each time. I’m still learning so much about what this means. I have to practice and learn (and sometimes fumble and struggle) to stay with my body through all of it’s physical and emotional sensations (shame, grief, pain, and anxiety included)…not just the ones I’d prefer to show up for (joy, excitement, contentment, etc).
But it’s worth it. 1000 times over. Because when I inhabit my body, I can be truly present for my precious and fleeting life. I feel connected and integrated, rather than disconnected, numb or isolated.
When I feel safe and at home in my body, I feel safer and more at home in my relationships and the world.
When I feel present with my own body and internal experiences, I have more clarity around what matters most to me and can keep creating the beautiful, deeply meaningful life I long for.
When I know how to stay present and skillfully experience the full range of physical and emotional sensations in my body, I can be present with the full range of emotions and sensations the important people in my life have. Which makes room for the deep and steady connection so many of us are longing for.
Truly, life itself, or at least our ability to experience it, is at stake here.
That’s why it felt so important to share some thoughts on becoming more embodied today. On finding our way back home into our bodies, over and over again.
Embodiment means…
Being in connection with, listening to, noticing, sensing, accepting, and feeling at home in your body.
This definitely does not mean feeling good or sunny all of the time. That’d be like a painting with only bright colors.
It does mean leaning in to feel the range of our body’s experiences fully. So whether the colors are bright or dark at any given moment, we experience our lives as a rich mosaic of deep, vibrant colors.
We all get momentarily disconnected from time to time. It’s part of being human. But when this becomes frequent or constant it strips life of it’s vibrancy and meaning.
A few possible signs you’re disconnected from your body
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- feeling numb or flat
- being unsure how you feel
- feeling disconnected from yourself and others
- engaging in common numbing behaviors (alcohol, screen time, overbooking your schedule, compulsive eating, etc)
- feeling like life is empty or lacking meaning
Simple ways to be more embodied
Each suggestion includes access to a free short practice you can use in your daily life. Embodiment is truly in the details. So even tiny practices and edits in our lives make a big difference.
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- Practice listening to your body as a separate valued being that deserves respect, care, love and acceptance. Then respond to it’s needs with generosity and care. All relationships need 2 way communication. Listening to your body, it’s sensations and needs, and then responding to what you hear with generosity and care closes the communication loop. It builds feelings of trust, safety, and vitality in your life. You can find an article here with a short activity that will help you do just that.
- Do things that increase feelings of safety, comfort, and “at home-ness” in your body. This means learning how to signal safety to yourself and your body, even in challenging or triggering situations. Breath work is a wonderful way to do this. If you’ve had overwhelming life experiences that prevent you from feeling safe in your body or safe feeling certain sensations in your body, working with a therapist trained in trauma and trauma specific modalities like EMDR is invaluable. I love this book and it’s associated free audio practices as an easy to use resource for building up the skill of breathwork. It’s one of THE most powerful ways to connect with your body and adjust your physiology.
- Practice staying present with yourself and your body as you feel all of it’s sensations (physical and emotional). This is different than intellectually understanding your feelings. I’m talking about actually feeling your feels IN YOUR BODY. It’s a feeling process, not a thinking process. Some of us can learn and practice this with just a small bit of guidance (like an audio practice). Some of us are best supported by a skilled therapist. Those of you in the Cultivate Change Course have access to the “Make Room & Soothe” audio practice which is a fantastic helper for this skill. Dr. Kristen Neff also has a great free “Soften, Soothe, and Allow” audio practice you can access here. This skill has literally changed my life.
- Find ways to enjoy being in your body. Dance freely, practice yoga, move and feel your blood pump, eat delicious food mindfully, enjoy great sex, get a massage, dive into a cold body of water, etc. Finding ways to enjoy the experience of being in our bodies is one way to build connection and appreciation. Again, if it’s difficult to access these feel good experiences on your own or feel safe feeling these experiences fully on your own, working with a skilled therapist is a wonderful pathway to coming home to your body. Also remember none of us enjoy our bodies all of the time. Just like we don’t enjoy other relationships 100% of the time. But prioritizing having some of these experiences helps us land more fully in our bodies. You can find a wonderful mindful eating practice and article on how to do it here.
I’d love to hear from you now–what helps you get back into your body? And what gets in the way of your feeling more embodied?
Enjoy living in this amazing body you’ve been gifted today!
With love,
Amber
